Slow Coming Insanity
by alx-nichole
Summary: Light summons the dementor to send L over the edge. Aspects of Harry Potter used in story.
1. Part I

Slow Coming Insanity

Slow Coming Insanity

L sat in the room with the task force members. Never had he been with so many people, yet felt so lonely. His mind was trying to focus on the Kira case, but he couldn't. It was truly impossible. The pain he was feeling made it impossible.

"Everyone, you may take the rest of the day off." L stated. The reaction from the task force was total shock.

"Ryuzaki, are you serious?! WOO HOO!!" Matsuda. Who else? Gasp

"Ryuzaki, are you sure? Is there a dead end in the case? What's going on?!" Chief Yagami demanded answers from L who was merely in a daze.

"Chief Yagami, there is no simple explanation. I just need everyone to leave. I can't think right now." An unusual statement from L. He was always thinking about something. Picking apart what seemed like the obvious and turning it into a complex, almost nonsensical idea.

"See you tomorrow Ryuzaki." Aizawa said as he and Mogi left the room. Light was the only one left in the room and he refused to leave without an explanation. He was way more stubborn than his father.

"What's bothering you, Ryuzaki? This is unlike you to let people go home. Usually, you make us stay as late as possible."

"Light. I honestly don't know what's wrong. I can't focus, so please, as I asked before, leave." L was beyond frustrated at Light's persistence. 'Why won't you leave? Do I have to kick you? Or shall I call Miss Amane?' His thoughts merely sat in his head, and he couldn't get them to leave, much like Light.

"Fine, if you insist, I will leave you alone. Are you sure you're all right?" L wondered where this sudden concern for his well being came from. '12'

"Just leave."

"See you tomorrow." Light knew something was wrong with him. Kira was pushing him to the edge. Exactly as he planned.

Finally, L was alone with his thoughts. He couldn't help but feel like a failure. He couldn't even focus for a minute on the Kira case, not that he's not focused on Kira, though. Kira was haunting him, tormenting him, and was out to get him. L was sure of it. 'Maybe I need to leave the building, just for a little while.' He felt like he had A.D.D. He called Watari.

"Watari, I'm going to go on a walk to a café. I need to clear my head."

"All right Ryuzaki."

The sun was going down, night was fast approaching. He just now realized how long he was sitting in the room, trying to think things through. Very few people were walking the streets at this hour. The café was also quite deserted. L sat at the table in the corner, farthest from all of the other people in the small coffee shop. He didn't need the constant interruption of other people when he just needed to think. That seemed impossible when a very loud, high-pitched voice heard. 'Misa! Shit. I'm never going to focus with that annoyance.'

Misa and Light had decided to come to this small coffee shop to get a quick cup of coffee, then they would go to their homes. Light turned his head to find a place to sit that is far away from possible Misa fans.

"Damnit. The corner table is occupied." Light didn't pay much attention to who was sitting in that table. Misa did, though.

"Oh my God! It's Ryuzaki!" Misa piped up. Light turned to see the man sitting awkwardly in the corner table. He looked troubled, and he appeared to be in his own world. Before Light could say anything, Misa had run over to the table.

"Hi Ryuzaki!! What's up?" L looked up and stared at her with a look of utter annoyance.

"Oh. Hello." L tried to make it appear as if he was busy, but he didn't bring his laptop, so he was stuck with her.

"Can we sit here?" Misa pointed to Light, who remained in the line, looking very frustrated. L took notice of the look.

"Actually, I was about to leave, so just take the table." He abruptly left, not even saying a 'goodbye' to Misa and not saying a single word to Light. Light saw the distress that L had when he and Misa had walked in. 'Exactly as planned.'

The streets were very dark as L walked all alone back to headquarters. The eerie silence was unnerving to him. He didn't feel alone, and he knew that it was happening again. He turned his head to see a shadow many shades darker than the unlit city streets he was walking on. 'Why is this thing following me? Better yet what is it?' He was still experiencing the nightmares from his last experience with the mysterious shadow. L began to run away from this frightening thing. The shadow moved just as fast as he did.

"Go away! Are you a shinigami?! Answer me!" His screams were useless as the thing overtook him. It sucked bits of his soul out of him. L managed to get back to his feet and continue running. The building was only a block away. 'I hope I make it.' The thing kept feeding off of him until he reached the building. He entered the building and noticed the thing pass the building, continuing on it's path. He was utterly exhausted and resorted to passing out in the hallway.

-- 3 a.m. --

L awoke in the same spot he collapsed in. His nightmares had scared him out of his sleep. He was in a pool of sweat on the cold, firm floor. Tears streamed down his face against his will as he rose to his feet and moved to his room. He sat down on the bed and held on to his shaking legs. 'Why me? What's going on? What does this thing want with me?' His fear flowed through his body causing him to act like a normal person, not like the unemotional person he was. He felt himself fading away, about to cross the line of insanity. He could barely take this feeling. His heart pounded rapidly, feeling as if it would explode from his chest at any moment. 'Was this Kira?' He felt extremely vulnerable. 'Am I going to die?' He couldn't shake this terrified feeling that he had. 'Are you watching my every move? Waiting for me to crack so I can be your prey. I beg of you, please don't hurt me? What did I do to deserve this?' His silent cries did nothing, he was still alone in his room, wondering what the future had in store for him.

--Light's room, same time—

Light knew releasing that creature was a good thing to do. L would be begging Kira to kill him now. L wouldn't even consider Light a suspect anymore, it would be the creature that Light let loose. Maybe L would even consider Kira to be supernatural. He would think that this was one of Kira's more brutal methods of killing people. Kira tried to kill L once, maybe he finally found the real L. 'I bet this is driving Ryuzaki insane. Good. Only I know how to fend this thing off too. I didn't think sending this thing after L would work out so beautifully. Exactly as planned.'


	2. Part II

Part II

Slow Coming Insanity Part II: Exactly as Planned

I don't own Death Note, copyright Ohba/Obata.

Warning L's real name.

Everyone had arrived to headquarters promptly at 6 a.m. Expecting to see the insomniac already at his post going over some files and having things for people to sort through. L wasn't there. The task force immediately knew something was wrong.

"RYUZAKI!! WHERE ARE YOU?" Chief Yagami gasped and ran off to try and find L. Matsuda and the others stayed put, asking Light if he had seen him since he was the first one there. Matsuda knew something was wrong with L but he didn't know what.

"Light. Did you notice something odd about Ryuzaki recently?" Matsuda inquired.

"Well…come to think of it. Last night, Misa and I saw him at a café last night and as soon as Misa approached him, he stormed out without a word. He seemed troubled, but I could tell he wanted some space, so I let him go." Light knew this fake concern would direct all attention away from him. Exactly as planned.

Chief Yagami entered the room, followed by an energy drained L. Everyone looked at L in shock. He looked as if he had aged 20 years over night. The bags under his eyes were deeper than ever, his shaggy black hair was messier, and he pushed the sugary tea and doughnut away from his sight as he sat down. He seemed to have lost weight too.

"Ryuzaki. Are you alright? You look terrible!" Matsuda didn't know how to be nice and gentle about this.

"UH. What he means is, are you feeling well? You look sick and sleep deprived." Aizawa quickly covered Matsuda's harsh statement.

"Please don't fuss over me. I assure you I am perfectly fine. Please go about your work duties." L stated plainly. He was troubled, but didn't want to worry the task force. Kira was the main priority, not his deteriorating health. 'Maybe Kira is the reason my health is deteriorating. Maybe I do need help. I can't show how weak I am, they will make me quit the case.'

As the day went on, everyone was getting a lot of work done, except for L. He continually stared at one file on the computer for hours on end. Light pushed his chair next to L's and shook him.

"Hey Ryuzaki. Are you sure you're feeling ok? You seem to be in a daze. That's not like you." L was getting increasing angry with everyone's concern. He wanted to be left alone. Why didn't anyone get this.

"WILL YOU SHUT UP?!" L screamed at the top of his lungs. Light rolled back to his original spot.

"Sorry Ryuzaki." Light knew L was off his rocker. Exactly as planned. L got out of his chair and stormed out of the room. Matsuda started to go after him but Chief Yagami stopped him.

"Matsuda, I think he wants to be alone. Let's all go back to work." Chief Yagami said. Everyone went about their business as normal, as if L didn't go apeshit.

L walked up to a room full of monitors. Watari sat in there, looking at the central monitor with dismay. He was concerned for the detective.

"Ryuzaki, what's wrong? Will you tell me? Please." Watari made it known to L that he was upset. Ryuzaki sat down on a chair Watari pulled over for him. He immediately started sobbing onto his knees.

"Watari, I think Kira is killing me." He looked up at Watari with his large, glassy eyes full of tears.

"Whatever do you mean?"

"Well. There's this shadow that follows me around when I'm outside. I have no idea what it could be. When the thing overtakes me, I feel as if I'm fading away. I can't stop it either. I have to get away from it and enter a building or a room for the being to leave me alone." Watari looked at L funny, but then placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Ryuzaki, exactly how many times have you encountered it? Where have you seen it?"

"I have seen it twice. The first time I was on the roof of this building, it came out of nowhere and confronted me. The second time was last night, I was walking home from a coffee shop and it appeared to be stalking me. The thing attacked me and I ran away and retreated to headquarters. It left me completely sucked of liveliness. I actually thought I was going to die."

"Hmmm….I'm not sure what to do about this. All I can say is stay inside." Watari tried helping poor L, but L seemed to have already lost the battle.

"I'm scared. I need help. I'm afraid whatever it is will come inside and finish me off." L had a look of utter terror on his face. Watari felt useless to L. 'Was Ryuzaki going insane? This seems pretty impossible. A shadow draining the life out of someone, that's improbable.'

"Ryuzaki, please take care of yourself. I know it may be difficult, but try and put all of this past you. Forgetting these incidents may the only way for them to stop. You may have simple paranoia." Watari hoped that this little bit of advice would be enough to help Ryuzaki. L wasn't feeling as comfortable with the idea. It would not be and easy task to just forget the torment that the creature put him through. He could sense Watari's skepticism about his story. Watari didn't understand. He knew he wasn't dreaming about this. (What a shitty dream that would be).

L went back to where the task force was meeting. Everyone but Light Yagami and his dad had left. Chief Yagami motioned for Light to head outside and wait for him. He felt obligated to talk to L.

"Ryuzaki, may I speak with you?" L shot him a look saying, "Leave me alone!", but still knew he had to explain himself after earlier.

"I'm guessing that you are curious about my peculiar behavior."

"Yes, that I am." L sighed loudly and sucked it up to tell Chief Yagami why he hasn't been able to lead a normal life.

"I understand completely if you do not believe me, I could hardly believe it myself."

"Well. What is it?"

"On 2 separate occasions, I have left the building and this thing would follow me around and 'attack' me. It drains the life out of me. I actually felt like I was going to die. I am not focused because I am trying to figure out what this thing is and why it's after me. I think it's related to Kira. For all I know it could be Kira. I am petrified and I'm not sure if I have much time left." Chief Yagami gasped at the thought of L being vulnerable to this thing.

"You have every right to fear for your life. Now, you said something about it may be Kira. I thought we determined that Kira was human."

"It's either one of two things. One: Kira is a supernatural being or two: Kira is human and that thing is something Kira used or created to kill people. I'm not exactly sure which, but I'm not sure if I'll ever know." L slumped down into a chair. He didn't try to hide his emotions this time. When he began to tear up, he hid his face in his knees. Chief or two: Kira is human and that thing is something Kira used or created to kill people. I'm not exactly sure which, but I'm not sure if I'll ever know." L slumped down into a chair. He didn't try to hide his emotions this time. When he began to tear up, he hid his face in his knees. Chief Yagami noticed how much of a child L seemed like. He was well aware that he was old enough to be his father and he felt kind of like a father to the normally emotionless man. He placed a reassuring hand on L's shoulder.

"Ryuzaki. I'm sure everything will be all right. Do you want to stay with us tonight? Or perhaps I stay here so you feel more comfortable? I don't want you to be alone if this thing decides to attack you again." L looked up at him, not wanting to face him when he was crying.

"I think I can manage. Thank you though. I do appreciate the offer. I'm not really wanting to leave the building because it will come for me if I do."

"Whatever suites you. See you tomorrow."

"Goodbye." Chief Yagami noticed how depressing that "goodbye" sounded. It sounded as if it was the last time he was seeing him. He couldn't help but feel bad for him.

L knew he couldn't cower in fear forever, but if he stayed away from the outdoors for a short while, maybe it would forget him. The creature came after him within 3 days of his first encounter. 'Maybe if I remain indoors for one week, it will forget me and move on. Please let it forget me.' Yet again his silent cries weren't heard.

-same time Light's room-

Light pulled out a bag of potato chips and turned on the news. He was enjoying this control he had over L. He knew exactly what he wanted to happen, and it was falling in the place beautifully. 'I never thought I could win so easily. I will be the God of the new world. Exactly as planned.'

-a week and a half later. task force headquarters-

L was not any better, in fact he had grown worse. He became more reclusive and stopped talking to people. He wouldn't even look at Watari when he brought sweets. He had lost all appetite, and his weight loss was quite noticeable. He was wasting away before everyone's eyes. Trying to help him was impossible. He was terribly haunted by the thing and he felt so cowardly. 'I have to face it. I can't sit in my room and hide from it. I need to leave the building, even if it's the roof or the front doorway, I need to say I'm not afraid.'

The task force left at the usual time. L knew the sun was no longer out and there weren't a lot of people around. Perfect time to leave the building, maybe get a coffee or tea. He stopped in the lobby. 'I can do this. I am stronger than it.' He told himself this over and over again as he left the premises. He felt confident after walking down many blocks to the park and sitting on a bench. He sat there for a while, enjoying the fresh, cool air of a summer night. 'I have won. I have been out for almost 2 hours with no disturbances.' He felt as if it was time to go back and pick up where he left off in the investigation. He approached building with a good feeling, a feeling of closure. 'I guess Watari was right after all.' Right as he thought that the black shadow got up face to face with him. L could not only feel his life draining away, but he could see it.

"WHY?! Why do you this to me? I don't deserve this!! I deserve better! I deserve life!" With these screams he ran through the thing and barricaded himself in the building. He could feel the energy leaking out of his body. 'So I either die at the hands of that or die on my own. A recluse scared to show his face out the window out of fear of what waits outside.' He ran up to his room and saw a blank notepad sitting on his desk, normally for Kira case notes. He picked up a ball point pen lying carelessly next to it. After jotting a note down, he finds the shotgun sitting in the bottom drawer and draws it to his head.

"Anything is better than continuing my shitty life. I'm sorry." He pulled the trigger. He collapsed in what seemed like slow motion. The gun flew out of his hand, and he breathed his last breath.

-the next morning-

Chief Yagami arrived earlier than the others as usual to see how L was doing. Watari was awake at this point in time.

"Good morning Chief."

"Good morning Watari. Where is Ryuzaki's room?"

"Down the hall room closest to kitchen."

"Thanks." Chief Yagami kind of chuckled. 'How convenient to be right by the kitchen.' He opened L's door to see a startling sight. The young man lying in a pool of blood. A shotgun nearby on the floor.

"RYUZAKI! NO!" He felt L's pulse. He knew that he had been dead for quite a while. He saw the notepad on the table. A piece had been written on.

"To anyone who finds this:

I have decided to end the hell I call life. It came for me again, right when I least expected it. I knew I would never be at peace with this shadowy stalker. I hope I haven't caused too much trouble or pain to you. Please forget me, I am not worth foolish grievances. I am sorry. Despite what I said, you were all my friends, basically my dysfunctional family.

L Lawliet"

Watari had heard Chief's screams and came to see a terrible sight. An ambulance was called as the other task force members trickled in and saw the horrific sight themselves. Everyone was saddened by the loss of the world's greatest detective, except for one, who of course acted like he was awfully upset. Light Yagami's only thought's were "I won. Exactly as planned."


End file.
